Clean freak?!

Tomorrow is the day. the big day.

Our adoption specialist, Dianna, is coming to our house! It's an unofficial homestudy visit. And the first time I'm going to meet her! AH!!

At first the whole idea made me so nervous, and I still am a little bit, but to be honest I think most of my nerves are nerves of excitement. I know that most people go all clean freak before a specialist comes to the house, but I'm not.

which is weird. so weird.

i am a perfectionist. i love things to be a certain way. my house to be a certain level of clean. and it's not like that and hasn't been for two months. between being a "single mom", a homeowner, school, dentist appointments to start invisalign again, doctor appointments to diagnosis which autoimmune disease I have, adoption process and spending all the time that is required with a deployment for/with my husband I just don't have to stick with my high standards.

if bubba was here he wouldn't find it acceptable. he is more anal and more of a perfectionist than i am. that's our downfall. we balance each other out in almost everything else except for out perfectionism.

ha. sometimes its torture.

so my feelings going into tomorrow are excitement. scared. and a bit nervous.

i'm so excited to get this process moving forward, as slowly as we are being as he is deployed and all, but it's another step closer. to getting our baby..

i think about that day. the day that we will get to meet our new child. it makes me so excited i could just dance!! and cry. and throw up all at the same time.

so anxious. will my hubby come home already!?!?